I have been reading "The seven habits of highly effective people". Like
Davids response to Seligman, whilst I take the
bible as my authority, I will gain wisdom from any source that contains it.

Covey's first habit is "be pro-active" which is essentially about
excercising leadership of yourself initially. His message seems to be as
follows-

Its time to take control. Instead of blaming the world around you, and the
experiences you have had, recognise the responses you have made are what
enslave you.

What makes us different to the animals is that we can choose NOT to
helplessly respond to what happens to us.

We get to choose how we respond to things that happen to us. Our misery or
happiness lies in our control. We can choose to be passive and allow
things from outside of us to control us, or by first taking charge of
ourselves we can expand our circle of influence.

Leadership is all about influence and unless we can have control of ourself
first, then our homelife, how can we hope to influence others?

Perhaps the most important lesson we have to learn is found in the AA
prayer "Lord, give me the courage to change the things that can and should
be changed, the serenity to accept the things that cannot be changed and
the wisdom to know the difference"

Our choices are crucial- for example we need to recognise love is a verb
not a feeling. Instead of saying I have "fallen out of love" with a
husband or wife, the proactive person recognises that "love is something
you do- the sacrifices you make, the giving of self, like a mother bringing
a newborn into the world". Ironically recognising love is a choice and
determining to act accordingly usually leads to the feelings returning.

The key is to stop looking to others to change and start taking
responsibility for our own actions. If I want a better wife, then I should
start by BEING a better husband.

As Covey puts it "Anytime we think the problem is out there that thought is
the problem. We empower what's out there to control us" Covey takes away all
our excuses and even argues that even happiness is a choice.

The key to success in life is realising that sometimes we are our own worst
enemy. Bad choices are what sin is about, and the bible is no stranger to
human responsibility. Thankfully we have a God who forgives our mistakes
and can give us a fresh start. Part of that fresh start is to help us to
dare to believe that by putting into practice some simple godly principles
and with the help God supplies we really can find that we are lifted out of
the mirey clay we find ourselves in.