Better Than I Deserve

As I write this, for some reason my thoughts are turned to a phrase C. J. Mahaney is famous for. Apparently when asked, “How are you doing?” he makes it a habit to answer, “Better than I deserve.” As I think about my life, I am more and more convinced that is true of me. It’s strange how often we allow ourselves to compare our situations with some imaginery perfect one and get dissatisfied. But when I stop and think about it, I am very fortunate.

My job is far better than I deserve—allowing me to spend time with the family God has given me—that is in itself much better than I deserve. I earn enough to pay the bills, and yet like so many of us, I sometimes fall into the trap of thinking “just a little more would be enough . . .” My family puts up with my regular absenses, yet they enjoy the times when I can “commute” from work by simply walking down the stairs. They are all healthy. My wife truly is my best friend, and is more understanding towards me than my treatment of her warrants. Most of the time the children are obedient and a delight to have around.

I live in a far better home than most, even in this country, let alone in the rest of the world—it, too, is better than I deserve. My church is quite literally (for me, at least) the best church I could be in, and my pastor—well, you guessed it—he is better than I deserve, too. Of course, the next breath that I am going to take is not something that is mine by right, any more than the pulsing of my heart is anything that I have done something to earn. So being allowed to live—let alone being saved by the sacrifice of Jesus—is much, much, more than I deserve.

So given all these things for which I have to be grateful, why is it that the quality and extent of my worship of Jesus remains so much less than He deserves from me?