In an entirely unprecedented move, the body which represents all Pentecostal and Charismatic believers worldwide has issued a warning today. This is in reaction to the announcement by astronomers that a once in a lifetime planetary alignment will occur this Sunday. The alignmentt will induce a feeling of near weightlessness. Due to concerns that believers who dance in church may injure themselves, all believers have been urged to do the following:-

"Pretend you are presbyterians for the weekend and whatever you do DO NOT dance. Clapping and raising hands are not believed to be dangerous" - Rev Dr Andrew Tonto, President of IFPCC

It remains unclear whether every believer will respond to this serious warning.

(More information available here)